Love is a lottery

One week and two days ago, my parents and sister left for Italy. They got up at 4 AM in the morning, drank a cup of coffee, stepped into the car and left. I was still vast asleep. I don't join my parents anymore on their holidays. That ship seems to have sailed. Instead, I stay at home and enjoy my summer job.
Today, I went to my grandmother for lunch, so I wouldn't have to cook myself. She's 74 years old, very catholic, and likes to nag about her health. In fact, she likes to nag about almost everything. When it's sunny it's too hot, but it's too wet when it rains. There seems to be no state of balance in which she is happy. But, today was different. When one of her grandchildren come over for lunch, she's a happy woman. She doesn't say it, but she shows it by cooking quantities of food that could easily nourish a military troop of twelve that has just been on a 40-day mission to the desert.
Today's menu: tomato soup, followed by steak, potatoes and beans in a yellowish sauce. She was reluctant to tell me the recipe of the delicious sauce. "It's a secret." she said, smiling wittily across the table. There was ice cream for dessert. Every now and then, she would glance at my plate and ask if I wanted some more. I had to disappoint her, for I could not eat another bite.
I haven't outed myself to my grandmother yet. She's a very catholic person, and to be honest, I don't believe that being honest about my sexuality will be beneficial to the already fragile relationship we both cherish. I know that she has come to a state of mind that doesn't allow any "anomalies" such as homosexuality. Though she loves me, she will never understand, let alone accept it. So I decided it was best to keep my mouth shut.
Because she has no clue that I like boys over girls, girls are often brought up. Today was no different.
My aunt called. My aunt doesn't know that I'm gay either (same side of the family). At the end of the conversation, my aunt gave her regards to me, and my girlfriend as well. I had to laugh. Of course there's no girlfriend. They were just tricking me into telling them that I had one. I said there was nobody, still smiling. "But", my grandma continued, "there must be a lot of fine girls at university, right?" "Yes, there are a lot of fine girls, grandma" I said, thinking that there are a lot of fine guys as well.
"Well, make sure you pick the right one. But, then again, you might never know if she is the right one. Love is a lottery, isn't it?" She turned around, and walked back into the kitchen. Little did she know I was going to write about it.

x, L.

So my boss is queer too (2)

Don't worry, this is not going to be a second soap like the F-word. I just thought I should give an update, since I already posted about the issue last week.

My boss, some colleagues and I were having lunch during our break when one of the female coworkers was telling a story. She was talking about a barbeque she went to, together with her husband. At this event, there was a dog. For some reason, this dog enjoyed leg humping. Victim of choice: the husband of my female colleague. She was vividly telling about the dog, the movements, and critizing the owner of the dog (who was also the host of the party) for not learning the dog to stay of other people's legs.
The way she was not amused about the lack of proper dog training, so felt her husband about the dog that could not stop humping his right leg. Instead of addressing the dog training, he claimed that the dog was gay. "The dog is gay, the dog is gay" my colleague said, quoting her husband.

My boss, who was listening to the story, interrupted. In a funny and not neccesarily serious way he said: "Well, I'm gay, but I'm not going to hump your husband's leg, am I?" Everyone laughed. And, for a split second, everyone realised that this was the coming out of my boss towards me. They all looked at me, trying to interpret my reaction to this newly disclosed information (at least they thought it was news for me). For a moment I felt threatened. Maybe because they exptected that I would react in a weird way, thereby affirming my heterosexuality. Of course, I lack the latter. So I was afraid they would find out about me as well. But then, exactly two seconds later, I realised that it wouldn't matter if they knew. "Right, I'm out of the closet already".

XOXO

Metaphor of life

Three weeks ago, for various reasons, I started running. My initial goal was to run 30 minutes straight, and right now I have reached that goal, and am very happy that I can still sing along with Esmée Denters and Beyoncé on my MP3-player when I get back home after those 30 minutes.

I always leave after sunset. I don't want people to see me with my running hair and red running face. And, to be honest, everything is more beautiful at night. So, around 10 PM, I put on my running shoes and reset my stopwatch.
200 meters from my house, I turn right, into the forest. I love the sweet, chilly breath of exhaling night combined with the perfect scent of the forest at sunset. It's lovely and soothing.
Yesterday, the road I had to take was dusty dry. The sun's blistering rays had made all the water evaporate from the soil. There's a lot of holes in the sandy road, eroded by water and wind. Normally, I find it very easy to dodge those holes, but yesterday was different. Although I knew where the hole in the road was, I still stepped into it, and tripped over. It was not the hole that made me trip over. It was me, not paying attention. I had not foreseen the agony that very soon followed. I got back up, on my own, and continued, however hurt.
Today, the same dusty road was not the same. Rain had filled the holes, creating little lakes that now reflected the evening sky. I managed to dodge all of them, but I realised that, one day, I will fall again. And again. And I will be thankful for it. For every time I fall, I will learn. And this knowledge will help me to elegantly dodge the holes the next time.

Life is like a road, perforated with obvious and tricky holes. Some can be dodged, others have to be tackled. There's no life without hardships. But, if you look closely, you can see friends standing next to every hardship. They reach out their hands, making it easier to cross the road that we call life.

So my boss is queer too

Last week I started working again, a summer job. I work at a grocery store, now for the third year in a row. Despite the fact that I sometimes need to get up at six o'clock in the morning, I love working there. There's great variation in the tasks I need to do, and the colleagues are fabulous.
Speaking of fabulous, my boss is a very funny guy. He only recently became store manager, because the one I worked for for the past two years got relocated to run his own store.
My boss is around 30 years old, pretty thin, with short brown hair. When looking closely, you can see that he is slightly balding, desperately trying to camouflage it by having very short hair. But, I need to say, he's still a good-looking guy.
From the moment I saw him, my gaydar went off. I wasn't sure of course, it was a bet with a confidence interval of 95%. I think his hand gestures gave him away. When he is telling a story, his hands exuberantely start moving, just like he is playing charades.
Yesterday I searched his name on Facebook, and I found his profile. My gut was right. I noticed that he was member of groups such as "Gay men... unite!!!", a coming out group, and this group.
His photos showed the stereotypical gay life. Lots of parties, lots of gay guys, with almost 50 % of the pictures containing at least one drag queen or transvestite. It was obvious that my boss is out and proud, not only due to the pictures, but because a lot of the colleagues were in his friend list as well.
I wonder if he knows about me too. I wonder if his gaydar goes off as well when I enter his line of sight. And I am curious if there is going to be gay talk, because chances are high that we'll have to work together in the store. I am now hesitant about whether or not I am going to bring it up. Would that be something I would regret afterwards? Or would it strengthen the bond? I guess we'll have to wait and see. Talking about it basically equals my coming out at work, and I'm not entirely sure about the whole work/private life separation.

x, L.