Independence.. something every high school teenager strives for... I have always been a very independent person. I never really experienced a bad case of 'homesick' and I always seemed to land on my feet whenever I had a difficult obstruction to pass.
A couple of months ago we had the chance to register for an Erasmus Exchange program. Although I had always wanted to go study abroad when the opportunity would be provided, I slightly hesitated at first. It didn't séém to be 'my time' to do such a thing. I mean, dreaming about it is one thing, but actually doing it, going away for six months to a place you've never been before.. is another!
Today that feeling really sunk in. A sudden fear of failing overwhelmed me. I just wasn't sure anymore whether I was ready for it. It's not just making your own dinner and doing your own groceries. I have grown used to doing that in the passed two years of college, but it's doing your own laundry and ironing and the entire clutter of doing a household.. holy cow
Yeah, that really is another thing.
I can absolutely take care of myself.. and it's been a life long dream to one day leave everything behind and go job hunting in New York, but now that my exchange program to Madrid is approaching I all of a sudden feel so tiny. Just one person to 6,750,000,000 other people out there.
Damn.. when you really see the digits.. that's a LOT of people.
Maybe I'm just stressed because of the upcoming finals. Anyway.. I've climbed out of my hole of desperation and got back to my feet.
I'm going to be alright out there.
A couple of months ago we had the chance to register for an Erasmus Exchange program. Although I had always wanted to go study abroad when the opportunity would be provided, I slightly hesitated at first. It didn't séém to be 'my time' to do such a thing. I mean, dreaming about it is one thing, but actually doing it, going away for six months to a place you've never been before.. is another!
Today that feeling really sunk in. A sudden fear of failing overwhelmed me. I just wasn't sure anymore whether I was ready for it. It's not just making your own dinner and doing your own groceries. I have grown used to doing that in the passed two years of college, but it's doing your own laundry and ironing and the entire clutter of doing a household.. holy cow
Yeah, that really is another thing.
I can absolutely take care of myself.. and it's been a life long dream to one day leave everything behind and go job hunting in New York, but now that my exchange program to Madrid is approaching I all of a sudden feel so tiny. Just one person to 6,750,000,000 other people out there.
Damn.. when you really see the digits.. that's a LOT of people.
Maybe I'm just stressed because of the upcoming finals. Anyway.. I've climbed out of my hole of desperation and got back to my feet.
I'm going to be alright out there.
x,
B.
1 comment:
Yes you are going to be. & someone is going to miss you.
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