If there's something I have learned of the past few weeks, then it's that there's no use in trying to predict people's reaction to certain things in live. We cannot deny that speculation is part of human nature. We are trying to foresee things on a daily basis, trying to prepare ourselves for oncoming events. When we don't have enough information available, we start getting scared. Nobody's scared of a walk in the forest by day, but when it turns night, we get terrified. It's not the forest on itself that's scary, it's the lack of information. We desperately try to get more information by speculating over what might be there. And that's what makes us wet our pants.
I started coming out last year, somewhere in September. Yet it took me another half year to finally come out to my best (male) friend from high school. In the meantime however, I didn't stop telling other people I was gay. I also told those people about that one friend I still needed to tell. I wanted to know their opinions, how they felt my best friend would react. I speculated so hard, my mind was almost paralyzed. Looking back, I can only determine that the information I got from myself and others was in fact useless; there was nobody who really knew how my friend was going to react. In fact, he was the only one that knew.
The countless hours I spent thinking about how he would react made me nervous. It made me postpone the very evening I would tell him. I was afraid of the dark. I didn't want to walk through the dark forest o' coming out.
Last Friday, I finally pulled myself together. He reacted well. I felt stupid over the fact that I tried to predict how his reaction would be, because I knew that it was ridiculous. The relief was ecstatic.
I'm not saying that speculation is a bad thing. I even like it when I'm sitting next to B. in the auditorium, speculating about whether or not some guys that walk by are gay. Just don't exaggerate. Think straight. Convince yourself that there's no use in trying to predict. Plunge in, head first, and see what happens. You'll manage to survive, I'm certain.
X
L.
I started coming out last year, somewhere in September. Yet it took me another half year to finally come out to my best (male) friend from high school. In the meantime however, I didn't stop telling other people I was gay. I also told those people about that one friend I still needed to tell. I wanted to know their opinions, how they felt my best friend would react. I speculated so hard, my mind was almost paralyzed. Looking back, I can only determine that the information I got from myself and others was in fact useless; there was nobody who really knew how my friend was going to react. In fact, he was the only one that knew.
The countless hours I spent thinking about how he would react made me nervous. It made me postpone the very evening I would tell him. I was afraid of the dark. I didn't want to walk through the dark forest o' coming out.
Last Friday, I finally pulled myself together. He reacted well. I felt stupid over the fact that I tried to predict how his reaction would be, because I knew that it was ridiculous. The relief was ecstatic.
I'm not saying that speculation is a bad thing. I even like it when I'm sitting next to B. in the auditorium, speculating about whether or not some guys that walk by are gay. Just don't exaggerate. Think straight. Convince yourself that there's no use in trying to predict. Plunge in, head first, and see what happens. You'll manage to survive, I'm certain.
X
L.
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